Mom Life · Real Talk

Real Truths About Bedtime With Kids

I’ve learned a few things about bedtime as a parent.

First off, bedtime is the #1 leading cause of dehydration in children. Even say the B word and everyone starts sniveling about how they’re hungry and thirsty and surely going to die in the night if they don’t receive more sustenance immediately.

Two – it’s a rookie move to let your kid read the bedtime stories. It’s all fun and games until Wonky Donky meets up with Pete the Cat and then some random queen shows up and you’re looking at your watch like it might speak up and send help.

Three – you can ruin your kid’s whole entire life by offering the incorrect pyjamas to them and suggesting they might be warmer in something else.

Four – “maybe” is the word sent by the Devil himself. If you say maybe to something hypothetically speaking, your kids will for sure 100% take it as a true blood oath never to be broken. Tread lightly.

Naïvely, I thought bedtime was just calming getting tiny humans dressed and washed and tucked into bed when really it’s more like everyone’s screaming in Russian and nothing makes sense and it doesn’t really matter what you do because you’re gonna see these kids again in 10 minutes when they sneak back outta bed “wif a question” like the turd that won’t flush.

This Bento: Yumbox Original in Bijoux Purple

  • tortilla chips
  • cucumbers & orange bell pepper slices
  • dried coconut chunks
  • smoked gouda cheese
  • blueberries
  • sliced apples
  • salsa
  • homemade brownie

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