Category: Mom Life

Funny Story · Mom Life · Yumbox

Teaching Them Young

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We don’t have a home phone. Not many people do, these days. But I have been thinking about what we would do if something happened to me and I became incapacitated while I was alone with the girls. Would they know how to get help?⁣
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So, I thought it was time we had a good discussion about 911. About the instances we may need to call. About how to unlock mommy’s phone and call 911. About how to Facetime daddy and grandma on their iPads if they need a grown-up and mommy is sick. ⁣
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I give them the run down and begin quizzing them.⁣
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“Okay, what if mommy is sleeping and you can’t wake me up?”, I asked them.⁣
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“Call 911 for the emergency helpers”, my 5yo proudly says.⁣
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“Good work”, I tell her. “Now what if I fall and I have a majorly big owie but I can still talk?”⁣
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“Call Daddy and Grams on my iPad and bring you your phone!”, my 5yo states. My youngest nods along with this decision. ⁣
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“Smart choice, girls”, I tell them. “Last one. What if mommy falls down the stairs and isn’t talking?”⁣
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“GO TO THE PANTRY AND EAT SNACKS!!!”, my toddler happily yells.⁣
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Cool. Happy Sunday.⁣
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🔴 This Bento: Yumbox Original in Blue Fish⁣

  • premium plus soda crackers⁣
  • kielbassa & cheddar (make your own lunchables)⁣
  • strawberries⁣
  • cantaloupe and blackberries ⁣
  • mini rainbow marshmallows ⁣
  • cashews, pistachios, & raisins⁣
  • rainbow unicorn cookie from The Avenue Cakery
Funny Story · Mom Life · Yumbox

Raising Tiny Versions of Myself

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I was reading the girls a bedtime story tonight (naturally one that had 8650 pages) and I accidentally and with malicious intent skipped a few pages in the middle. After reading for another minute or two, my 5yo says “mommy you missed some pages!”. I told her that I hadn’t (rookie move). She insisted I had. I said “how do you know? You can’t even read!” – and she looks at me deadass in the eyes and says “well obviously neither can you because this story makes no sense”.⁣⁣
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Shots fired. I am not okay. I am raising a tiny version of myself and I need help.⁣⁣
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🔴 This Bento: Yumbox Original in Blue Fish⁣⁣

  • leftover top sirloin steak bites⁣⁣
  • strawberry yogurt covered pretzels⁣⁣
  • nectarines⁣⁣
  • blackberries⁣⁣
  • steamed broccoli⁣⁣
  • gummy bears⁣⁣
  • Nature’s Bakery fig bar⁣
Holiday Traditions · Mom Life · Real Talk

Our Version of Christmas Advent

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It’s a little overwhelming, isn’t it? The holiday season? It feels (at least to me) like consumerism has taken on a life of its own these days and threatens to topple anyone who isn’t steadfast in their resolve to not give in to Keeping Up With The Jones’. I’m over here just trying to keep it simple with my kids so every Christmas season we do a book advent for them.

48 books about Christmas, the holiday season, giving, love, charity, generosity, and family. Lovingly hand-wrapped for our little ladies, one each, for every day of Advent. We hope to encourage their love of stories and reading – and to show them that sitting with loved ones (or themselves) and reading a great book is maybe what it’s all about. To foster the excitement of waking up and seeing what story the day has for them – which really, is a decent metaphor for life itself. I’m always excited to see the look on their faces when they get to open a new (to them) book every day – stories collected from family and friends, thrift shops, and a few new special picks.

Money saving tip: check your local Free Little Libraries for holiday books, ask on local Facebook groups, and check Value Village (since they always offer buy 4 kids books get 1 free – and they’re only $2-$3 each). I switch a few out every year to keep up with their interests and ages – for example, I swapped out most of the baby board books this year, and added some Paw Patrol and Wild Kratts to appeal to the girls’ current interests.

Mom Hack: After Christmas, pack up the advent books and stash them away for next season. The kids won’t remember them next year, and they stay in great condition because they’re only enjoyed in December. Better yet, trade advent books amongst friends with similar traditions – get a bunch of new (to your family) books for free!

Chocolates get eaten and tiny toys get lost, but the memories we hope to create with our girls of laying together and laughing and snuggling into stories will last a lifetime. It’s not always perfect but it’s perfect for us. And that’s all I can hope for.

“Words, are our most inexhaustible source of magic.” J.K. Rowling

Little Lunch Box Co · Mom Life · Real Talk

My Kid Is A Creep, Episode 52

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On a scale of coma to Tom Cruise Couch Yelling, how awake are you when your daughter climbs into bed with you at 1:45am, wiggles her little spoon into your big spoon, gently starts stroking your cheek, and then quietly asks you, “Mommy, when our house burns down, can we buy a farm?”

Answer: Sonic the Hedgehog on speed, awake.

This Bento: Little Lunch Box Co Bento 5

  • carrots & cucumbers
  • peanut butter and blackberry sandwich (mom hack: if you’re watching your sugar intake, use fresh blueberries/blackberries/raspberries/strawberries in place of jam in sandwiches – the bit of sugar already in PB and other nut/seed butters softens the tart berries and tastes just as delicious).
  • apples & plums
  • hummus with Everything But The Bagel seasoning from Trader Joes
  • marble cheese
  • strawberry yogurt melts
Funny Story · Mom Life · Real Talk

Before I Had Kids..

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Before I had kids, I had CAPITAL O opinions about screen time for children. Mine weren’t gonna have any. Big Bad TV ™️ wasn’t gonna rot my kids’ brains. Cute right?

Fast forward to now. Dora taught my 2.5 year old to count to 10 in Spanish and my 4.5 year old casually tells me last night while getting ready for bed that “Mama, your hair & nails are made keratin and to keep them strong you gotta eat lots of broccoli and protein, that’s why I love broccoli” (at first she told me she learned this at school but I found out it is actually from Wild Kratts). So now the Kratt Brothers are my nanny and I ain’t even mad about it.

This Bento: Yumbox Original in Blue Fish

  • 2 cranberry pistachio figgy pops by Made In Nature
  • 2 hard boiled egg whites
  • Korean bbq pork jerky from Costco
  • waffle crackers from Bulk Barn
  • marble cheese
  • fancy cucumbers
  • dried apricots
  • strawberries & blueberries
  • 1 peppermint fudge snapper treat
Mom Life · Real Talk · Yumbox

I Don’t Know Who Needs To Hear This Today, But…

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I don’t know who needs to hear this today, but…

Lunch doesn’t need to be fancy.

Don’t you even, for one single solitary second, come on my page to check my lunch inspiration, and feel bad about yourself. Don’t do it.

Nothing separates us. I am NOT a better parent because I cut fruit into shapes and arrange it in a bento box. You are NOT a bad parent if all your budget allows for is bologna sandwiches in a ziploc bag, or your kid refuses to eat anything except for pepperoni sticks. At the end of the day, every single one us is just trying to do our best to raise KIND womb trophies. That’s it. Here’s a helpful list:

What makes someone a good parent?

  • Offering your child food in regular intervals (if they actually eat it is another story but really, not your forking problem)
  • Worrying about being a good parent
  • Loving your child

What makes someone a bad parent?

  • Not feeding your child(ren)
  • Not loving your child at least sometimes

Like anyone, I have good days and not-as-good days. I have organic rainbow pasta with expensive cheese and fresh vegetable days and “leftover A&W chicken strips & packaged snacks” sorta days. I yell at my kids. I have to apologize to my kids. I get frustrated and often feel like I’m one forking tantrum away from an atomic meltdown. I send my kids to bed when I’m angry and then tip-toe back in with tears in my eyes to kiss them 500x. I know you do the same.

So if you have a wicked Internet worthy lunch today, huge fist bump to you. If you only managed the bare minimum, I hear lemon lollipops can ward off scurvy and also great work putting in the effort you’re able to. I love you all.

This Bento: Yumbox Original in Blue Fish

  • leftover A&W chicken strips
  • veggie straws
  • strawberries
  • dried apricots
  • raspberries stuffed with mini m&m’s
  • cucumbers
  • Made Good Foods rice krispy square
  • ranch dip
Mom Life · Real Talk

Real Truths About Bedtime With Kids

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I’ve learned a few things about bedtime as a parent.

First off, bedtime is the #1 leading cause of dehydration in children. Even say the B word and everyone starts sniveling about how they’re hungry and thirsty and surely going to die in the night if they don’t receive more sustenance immediately.

Two – it’s a rookie move to let your kid read the bedtime stories. It’s all fun and games until Wonky Donky meets up with Pete the Cat and then some random queen shows up and you’re looking at your watch like it might speak up and send help.

Three – you can ruin your kid’s whole entire life by offering the incorrect pyjamas to them and suggesting they might be warmer in something else.

Four – “maybe” is the word sent by the Devil himself. If you say maybe to something hypothetically speaking, your kids will for sure 100% take it as a true blood oath never to be broken. Tread lightly.

Naïvely, I thought bedtime was just calming getting tiny humans dressed and washed and tucked into bed when really it’s more like everyone’s screaming in Russian and nothing makes sense and it doesn’t really matter what you do because you’re gonna see these kids again in 10 minutes when they sneak back outta bed “wif a question” like the turd that won’t flush.

This Bento: Yumbox Original in Bijoux Purple

  • tortilla chips
  • cucumbers & orange bell pepper slices
  • dried coconut chunks
  • smoked gouda cheese
  • blueberries
  • sliced apples
  • salsa
  • homemade brownie
Funny Story · Mom Life · Yumbox

Spicy Legs

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If toddlers waking up at 2:15am screaming at the top their lungs that their “legs are spicy” sounds like a super fun thing, then definitely go ahead and have kids. Turns out it’s actually forking hard to explain the concept of pins and needles in the middle of the night to a 2.5yo whose acting like an octupus being murdered in cold blood. In related news, today might be the day I learn if Starbucks will fill a bubba keg with espresso. Stay tuned.

This Bento: Yumbox Panino in Neptune Blue

  • waffle sticks w/blueberries & mini m&m’s
  • Ukrainian garlic sausage & smokee gouda
  • orange & red sweet bell pepper slices
  • banana chips
  • real maple syrup
Mom Life · Real Talk

Welcome To The Shit Show

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If you’ve found yourself here and things like bacon and cuss words tend to offend you, you might want to re-think those two life strategies because I’m pretty sure you’re going to want to be friends with me.

I’m Rachel. I’m a Snack Bitch to two womb trophies by day, and a work-at-home mama by night. I’m married to a man who travels extensively for work, so I’m a bit of a lukewarm mess solo parenting most of the time. I’m also a digital creator, a bento box maker, (not a candlestick maker), and a writer of all things crafty, foodie, humour-y, life-y and parent-y. I’m authentic, sarcastic, hilarious, and a little messy – aren’t we all, though?

I think about food way too much, love making things, drink too much diet coke, and spend more time than I care to admit laughing at memes on the internet. I believe weekends are best spent at the local Farmer’s Market, followed by embracing my inner sloth and becoming one with my bed. I’m fluent in sarcasm, and humour is the way to my heart.

Here’s what you’ll find on my blog – healthy-ish bento box meal ideas for your little crotch fruit, some bomb-ass recipes that I mostly make up in my head, deals and discounts to things you never knew you always needed, exclusive sales, and hilarious stories from my actual real day to day life. Basically a metric shirt-ton of fun stuff, so pull up a seat because I can’t wait to interact with all you forkers.

Thanks for popping by, folks. Drop me a line sometime.